A few things I found very troublesome about last night's Top Chef. And this does not include the really, really unattractive cheftestants this year. I don't think they all need to be gorgeous but they also don't need to be distractingly unappealing. Don't any of them live near salons? Just a baseline of normal-looking would be completely fine. I mean, it's Bravo! Facials should be mandatory.
On to the culinary irritations:
Watermelon "carpaccio." Creating "twists" on dishes is only clever when it's...clever. I find myself mostly just annoyed at dishes like thinly sliced fruit called "carpaccio" and random things marinated in citrus and called "ceviche." Tofu "ceviche" = culinary fail, IMHO. This has happened before on Top Chef and has been equally annoying. Carpaccio is meat. Ceviche is seafood. And on that note, stacked-up food is not always "lasagne" and food rolled in other food is not always an "enchilada" and food on bread is not always "pizza."
Weird pronunciation of "ceviche." The first time I heard the cheftestant Jen call it "Sa-VEECH" I thought I misheard. Then she did it again. Please stop it. Even if that is correct in some remote part of Spain that only she has ever visited...please just stop.
I'm not a dessert technologist. I don't like panna cotta that much. But I respect that lots of people like it. So if I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT I suppose I would NOT MAKE IT when I'd already completed my initial dish. And I would NOT STIR IN BURNED BAY LEAVES. And then I would not stand in front of the judges and say "I'm not a dessert technologist" and "mistakes were made." The entire panna cotta situation was very odd.
Reading the blogs this morning I can see I'm not the only one baffled by the show so far this year. I'm sure things will improve.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
An Open Letter to Mother Nature
Dear Mother Nature,
I feel like we've been here before. We've had these tough conversations. I still don't agree with the way you arranged breastfeeding. And at the risk of unearthing difficult situations, we certainly talked a few times about mastitis. Tornadoes have always perplexed me. Drought. Antibiotic-resistant bacteria: Well, I've never tried to pin that on you. That's our fault. Lima beans...I know you have your reasons.
And Mother Nature, I'm not trying to say you've never done anything right. Not at all. The sweet potato: nice work, seriously. Lobster: genius! And the snow days, I thanked you for all of those. Kittens. The New River. The Pacific. Peaches. We've had good times and I always gave you props.
But this most recent thing, I feel like I can't hide my feelings. What is the point of four minutes of rain? It hasn't rained in Austin in weeks. It's hardly rained all summer. The wind, the thunder, and then the four minutes of rain you delivered today. At the risk of sounding trite: WTF? It made a paste of the grass and dirt we call our yard. It blew a bunch of pollen around but didn't wash it out of the air. It didn't help. It was actually kind of disgusting. I'm just not getting it.
Mother Nature, I'm not so much angry as disappointed. I expected better of you, and I'm left confused. And I'm not sure I want to ask for a "sign" at this point.
Just hoping time will heal all wounds (unless they, too, are antibiotic-resistant).
Yours,
Amy
I feel like we've been here before. We've had these tough conversations. I still don't agree with the way you arranged breastfeeding. And at the risk of unearthing difficult situations, we certainly talked a few times about mastitis. Tornadoes have always perplexed me. Drought. Antibiotic-resistant bacteria: Well, I've never tried to pin that on you. That's our fault. Lima beans...I know you have your reasons.
And Mother Nature, I'm not trying to say you've never done anything right. Not at all. The sweet potato: nice work, seriously. Lobster: genius! And the snow days, I thanked you for all of those. Kittens. The New River. The Pacific. Peaches. We've had good times and I always gave you props.
But this most recent thing, I feel like I can't hide my feelings. What is the point of four minutes of rain? It hasn't rained in Austin in weeks. It's hardly rained all summer. The wind, the thunder, and then the four minutes of rain you delivered today. At the risk of sounding trite: WTF? It made a paste of the grass and dirt we call our yard. It blew a bunch of pollen around but didn't wash it out of the air. It didn't help. It was actually kind of disgusting. I'm just not getting it.
Mother Nature, I'm not so much angry as disappointed. I expected better of you, and I'm left confused. And I'm not sure I want to ask for a "sign" at this point.
Just hoping time will heal all wounds (unless they, too, are antibiotic-resistant).
Yours,
Amy
Monday, August 24, 2009
Five Things That Were Horrifying
Five things that were horrifying about our trip to Sea World.
1. 3.30 am Sunday after a fun evening of swimming and a picnic supper. Oliver wakes up squalling. We offer milk, which he takes. We put him back in the pack and play. He screams and screams and screams. Embarrassed that we are waking up the entire resort, we spend the next two hours picking him up and putting him back (which makes things worse). Logan is also up, as we are all in the same room. Poor Ollie is out of sorts, not used to the pack and play and overtired after a full day. Finally at 5.30 am, Larry takes to the streets of San Antonio, driving Ollie around the area to put him to sleep. It works and we all go back to a fitful sleep until 8 am.
2. The heat. This was no surprise. It was well over 100 degrees. All of us were drenched. However, nobody got sunburned. In our pale and freckled family this is a big deal.
3. Disinterest at the Shamu show. Logan spent the entire 25-minute show obsessing over a bottle of purple Gatorade and throwing Cheerios on the floor. The arena is shaded, so it was a good chance to get Ollie out of the heat and give him a bottle. The show is pretty corny, though, so it wasn't our favorite part of the trip. It's called "Believe," if you can imagine. I really thought Logan would like it because of all the splashing, but he couldn't have cared less about poor Shamu and his gang of killer whale friends. The jellyfish and dolphins were much bigger hits with him.
4. Alligators in hiding. I was interested in seeing Alligator Alley. The alligators were interested in being almost completely submerged in cool water with only their snouts showing. Thus, we spent 4 minutes staring at a murky lake before moving on. I realize #3 and #4 are more "annoying" than "horrifying."
5. Tummy trouble. Oliver has been home since our return with a tummy virus. I can't trace it back officially to Sea World, of course...
1. 3.30 am Sunday after a fun evening of swimming and a picnic supper. Oliver wakes up squalling. We offer milk, which he takes. We put him back in the pack and play. He screams and screams and screams. Embarrassed that we are waking up the entire resort, we spend the next two hours picking him up and putting him back (which makes things worse). Logan is also up, as we are all in the same room. Poor Ollie is out of sorts, not used to the pack and play and overtired after a full day. Finally at 5.30 am, Larry takes to the streets of San Antonio, driving Ollie around the area to put him to sleep. It works and we all go back to a fitful sleep until 8 am.
2. The heat. This was no surprise. It was well over 100 degrees. All of us were drenched. However, nobody got sunburned. In our pale and freckled family this is a big deal.
3. Disinterest at the Shamu show. Logan spent the entire 25-minute show obsessing over a bottle of purple Gatorade and throwing Cheerios on the floor. The arena is shaded, so it was a good chance to get Ollie out of the heat and give him a bottle. The show is pretty corny, though, so it wasn't our favorite part of the trip. It's called "Believe," if you can imagine. I really thought Logan would like it because of all the splashing, but he couldn't have cared less about poor Shamu and his gang of killer whale friends. The jellyfish and dolphins were much bigger hits with him.
4. Alligators in hiding. I was interested in seeing Alligator Alley. The alligators were interested in being almost completely submerged in cool water with only their snouts showing. Thus, we spent 4 minutes staring at a murky lake before moving on. I realize #3 and #4 are more "annoying" than "horrifying."
5. Tummy trouble. Oliver has been home since our return with a tummy virus. I can't trace it back officially to Sea World, of course...
Five Things That Were Awesome
Five things that were awesome about our Sea World trip:
1. Hyatt Wild Oak Ranch. Three minutes from SeaWorld, adjacent to the fancy Hill Country Hyatt but totally kid friendly and beautifully landscaped. Indoor pool, outdoor pool, lazy river for tubing, little general store for when you forget your toothpaste. Fridge in the room for Ollie's milk and washer/dryers down the hall. This would be a perfect staycation for anyone in this area. I anticipate we will return for a longer stretch. It was a total find. And the service could not have been nicer. I don't think I've ever had a front desk call my room just to be sure "everything was OK."
2. Dolphins. Logan did not want to feed them but was very interested in looking at them and insisted he be allowed to go swimming with them.
3. Coral reef exhibit. While we were looking at the sharks a Sea World employee actually came over with a shark jaw to show the kids and let them touch the teeth. Our child, of course, was much too busy jumping up and down on a bench to be educated but it was nice to have a little extra tutorial. She helped us identify some of the specific sharks in the tank (we were trying to find a blacktip shark but it was hard to see).
4. Water park. I didn't realize how large the Sea World water park is. There are slides (which Logan is too small for) and a huge wave pool; complimentary life jackets (makes it a lot easier to hold the kids when the vest is doing some of the work) and a shaded shallow pool perfect for Ollie. After a brief dip in the wave pool I took Ollie back to the shady area where he had a blast splashing, swim/crawling and flirting.
5. Both kids slept almost all the way home. Logan went to sleep at 8 PM and did not awaken until 7 the next morning (other than a brief waking in which he was easily convinced to return to bed).
Later this week: Five things that were horrifying about our Sea World trip.
1. Hyatt Wild Oak Ranch. Three minutes from SeaWorld, adjacent to the fancy Hill Country Hyatt but totally kid friendly and beautifully landscaped. Indoor pool, outdoor pool, lazy river for tubing, little general store for when you forget your toothpaste. Fridge in the room for Ollie's milk and washer/dryers down the hall. This would be a perfect staycation for anyone in this area. I anticipate we will return for a longer stretch. It was a total find. And the service could not have been nicer. I don't think I've ever had a front desk call my room just to be sure "everything was OK."
2. Dolphins. Logan did not want to feed them but was very interested in looking at them and insisted he be allowed to go swimming with them.
3. Coral reef exhibit. While we were looking at the sharks a Sea World employee actually came over with a shark jaw to show the kids and let them touch the teeth. Our child, of course, was much too busy jumping up and down on a bench to be educated but it was nice to have a little extra tutorial. She helped us identify some of the specific sharks in the tank (we were trying to find a blacktip shark but it was hard to see).
4. Water park. I didn't realize how large the Sea World water park is. There are slides (which Logan is too small for) and a huge wave pool; complimentary life jackets (makes it a lot easier to hold the kids when the vest is doing some of the work) and a shaded shallow pool perfect for Ollie. After a brief dip in the wave pool I took Ollie back to the shady area where he had a blast splashing, swim/crawling and flirting.
5. Both kids slept almost all the way home. Logan went to sleep at 8 PM and did not awaken until 7 the next morning (other than a brief waking in which he was easily convinced to return to bed).
Later this week: Five things that were horrifying about our Sea World trip.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Water Signs
Our 30-hour trip to SeaWorld was more of an "adventure" than a "vacation." Much too tired to post fully about the whirlwind day and night. Please enjoy these photos and my assurance of a longer post later in the week. This longer post may include the following words and phrases, not necessarily in this order:
- Shuffleboard
- Screaming inconsolably at 3.30 a.m.
- Gatorade
- Laughing Cow cheese
- Inner tube
- Heat rash
- Shamu
- Wave pool
- Spotted eel
Logan insisted on pushing his stroller. You can image that made for a speedy trip through the park.
Guess who enjoyed the Shamu show the most of all?
Friday, August 21, 2009
The Circus
Logan and I had incredible seats this morning for the Ringling Bros. circus. I haven't been to a circus in about 30 years, so it's hard to tell whether the circus has changed, or I have. It seemed a lot smaller than I remember (that's probably about me, not the circus). It also now has video, G-rated hip-hoppish music, a lot of Cirque de Soleil-type acrobatics and protesters outside.
Logan didn't beg for a single toy (although he was looking longingly at the swirly light thingies) or gross food item. After about 15 minutes sitting on my lap he went into his own seat and had a great time. Favorite acts were the motorcycle on the tightrope and the dog catching Frisbees.
Here's the view from our seats.
We were accompanied by Logan's friend J and his mom and J's older brother, whom both Logan and J worship. He is one of the nicest early-teen I have ever met. He can actually carry on a conversation and is terrific with the little boys, who obey him without hesitation. He gives me hope for the future. We tried to get them all to pose but there was a lot going on!
Logan didn't beg for a single toy (although he was looking longingly at the swirly light thingies) or gross food item. After about 15 minutes sitting on my lap he went into his own seat and had a great time. Favorite acts were the motorcycle on the tightrope and the dog catching Frisbees.
Here's the view from our seats.
We were accompanied by Logan's friend J and his mom and J's older brother, whom both Logan and J worship. He is one of the nicest early-teen I have ever met. He can actually carry on a conversation and is terrific with the little boys, who obey him without hesitation. He gives me hope for the future. We tried to get them all to pose but there was a lot going on!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Super Soakers
We put the boys in the tub together tonight without Ollie's baby tub. They loved it. Maybe the water made it easier or maybe he was just in a good mood, but Oliver pulled up to stand a few times on the side of the tub (with one of us hovering centimeters away).
Had a good visit with grandma and grandpa over the weekend, including a trip to the children's museum, where they have an awesome craft project and Logan was accidentally bopped in the head with a piece of one of the exhibits by a kid whose mom looked on placidly and didn't suggest that her child say "Excuse me" or "I'm sorry." It doesn't really matter whether you're at Wal-Mart or the children's museum...there are just all kinds of parenting "styles" out there. My rule is, I don't judge you until your kid hits mine with a piece of metal and you can't be bothered to respond.
Here, a book is read (I'm not sure who was reading).
Had a good visit with grandma and grandpa over the weekend, including a trip to the children's museum, where they have an awesome craft project and Logan was accidentally bopped in the head with a piece of one of the exhibits by a kid whose mom looked on placidly and didn't suggest that her child say "Excuse me" or "I'm sorry." It doesn't really matter whether you're at Wal-Mart or the children's museum...there are just all kinds of parenting "styles" out there. My rule is, I don't judge you until your kid hits mine with a piece of metal and you can't be bothered to respond.
Here, a book is read (I'm not sure who was reading).
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