Happy 2010 to All

A Great Deal of Whining and a Dollop of Mousse

Our attempts to get our rock star to take a midday disco nap were not successful, and so began our Halloween evening, with a great deal of whining and a dollop of mousse. As the Spiderman candy bucket filled, though, Logan perked up and by the time he got home he'd had a good time with Daddy while I stayed home with Ollie to hand out the candy. Ollie, of course, had a great time screeching when trick or treaters rang the bell.

I thought it would be a tsunami of kids with the nice weather and the weekend night. But I underestimated the swine flu impact, I think. We had one Michael Jackson, two boxers, and a lot of Transformers.

Without further ado, the pics.

Some of my props for my Bulldog Halloween costume Thursday night. AMH, KFar and I went as the Supreemz (tm), a washed-up (hence the Valium) Motown trio.



Logan tries on his rocker glasses.



Classic rocker angst.

Paparrazi shot (this is where the bad mood actually worked for us).



Getting ready to roll with Daddy.



On the road.

Spoils.

Rock Star

I haven't successfully sewn anything since affixing a Galaxy logo to a T-shirt for Logan's David Beckham costume two years ago, and AMH had to do half the work on that one. Not being able to sew does not affect my life in any way...except at Halloween, when I feel inadequate as people whip up handmade hats, Superman capes and the like. I'm just not good at the crafts.

As it turns out, Logan is at a stage where he won't wear anything that isn't comfortable, anyway. I can't see him being willing to don a cape or his cousin's hand-me-down spider outfit. So I think the costume we cooked up for him will work well. As a "rock star," he'll carry Larry's Guitar Hero guitar, don jeans and a black T-shirt that says "Less Talk. More Rock" (newly arrived today from Old Navy) and sport two studded bracelets plus a fake earring if I can get him to hold still long enough to draw it on. We've also delayed his haircut so his hair is long enough to gel into a fauxhawk. I think this will "feel" like regular clothes but still be a good enough costume to pass muster.

Last year Logan stopped traffic, literally, in his farmer outfit, which was also a simple getup that felt like regular clothes.


Oliver is staying home with me to distribute candy. He will wear a "Monster in Training" T-shirt.I will wear a feather boa and sweats.

And no...there is no such thing as No Pants Halloween.

Cruisin' and Bruisin'

I fully admit I have not been a good blogger lately. What can I say? If it's "shower" or "blog," I think we all agree I should wash my hair. Hope these recent photos make up for it.

Ollie is crawling like a madman and cruising like crazy. He's close to walking...I predict we will enter the new year with a true "toddler." His personality is definitely starting to emerge. He's friendly and very low maintenance but no pushover. We recently got a note from day care that he was plucking the pacifiers out of some of the other babies' mouths. I don't think he's being mean, I think he's trying to help them kick the habit. Later this week he'll have his 15-month well check.

Oliver eager to get into the tub.

Oliver and Sadie hanging out on the deck with some bubble fun.

Oliver and Logan playtime.

No Pants Sunday: An FAQ

I've received several inquiries about the specifics of No Pants Sunday. I can see how the Facebook activity is particularly confusing for people who are FB friends with me, but not Larry. It must seem odd to see my commentary disjointed from the primary No Pants Sunday commentary.

Thus for all on Facebook and in the blogosphere, I have provided a helpful FAQ regarding No Pants Sunday.

What is No Pants Sunday?
No Pants Sunday occurs on Sundays during football season. It is a time when the boys of the house relax with abandon. Although No Pants Sunday does sometimes involve removing ones pants to lounge in underwear/diaper and T-shirt, No Pants Sunday is best understood as a state of mind.

Can you clarify the attire?
T-shirt, underwear/diaper, socks (if desired), ballcap (Daddy), sparkly blue bowler hat (Logan). Mommy wears normal seasonal-appropriate attire.

How does this differ from Naked Sunday?
Nobody is walking around the house naked. Have we not met?

How did No Pants Sunday begin?
Its genesis was many years ago, but it began as a named event last year when Larry announced that he would "do whatever I want on Sunday, I might even not wear pants."

What is the cuisine?
Beer, juice boxes, milk, Cheetos, pureed squash, graham crackers.

Are others invited?
Oddly enough, nobody has ever asked to join us. However, others are encouraged and applauded for experiencing No Pants Sunday in their own homes. No Pants Sunday is very flexible in terms of timing, cuisine and attire. Remember: a state of mind.

How much advance planning goes into No Pants Sunday?
Typically cuisine is planned in advance in order to avoid pantsless beer runs.

Shouldn't No Pants Sunday be hyphenated?
Oh Anne Marie, give it a rest.

Where can I direct additional questions?
You may leave additional questions on this blog.

Nomads

The boys and I were nomads this weekend as the tile job that was supposed to take place Friday and Saturday took place Saturday and almost all of Sunday. Between the dust, the screeching noise of the tile cutter and our inability to use the kitchen, I tried to keep them out of the house as much as possible. We spent several hours between the homes of three friends.

Oliver, of course, went with the flow, but Logan was a wreck by Sunday. Seeing the furniture all piled in our living room freaked him out. Then spending half the day in the car took its toll. I'm pretty sure we are not welcome back at the Kolache Factory on Parmer, where he pitched an attention-grabber Sunday morning before announcing his plans to walk home to see Daddy. I'm not entirely sure we're welcome back at the home of our friends R and J, where he threw himself on the floor in the hallway and cried for 30 minutes that he wanted to "go hooooome."

All of that got me thinking a little bit about kids that are displaced from their homes for more serious reasons and longer periods of time. If Logan was an utter wreck because he spent the day visiting friends, what kind of impact does it have on a child who really does lead a nomadic life? Yeah, I know this isn't news. It doesn't take much to upset me on behalf of kids.

There's not really an appropriate transition from that to pictures of our new tile, so I won't try one. The vinyl kitchen floor that has practically sent me into therapy is gone, as is the dated entryway tile (which I kind of liked, in a retro way) and our dining room carpet (which was actually in decent shape, but you can tell the portion of it that was under Logan's high chair when he was learning to eat). We took a minor risk with a color that had some red in it and it paid off, we're really happy with it.

Entryway. The carpet where it meets the tile still needs to be finished and fastened. It's a race between the guys coming back to finish it and Cricket figuring out that it's loose.

View of the kitchen from the dining room.

Happy Coming Home Day, Oliver

A year ago today, we brought Oliver home after nine weeks in the NICU. Here are some things I remember:

• How easy our pre-departure "rooming in" was. Grammy Carol stayed overnight with Logan as Larry and I took off for the hospital at about 8 PM to spend the night in one of the family rooms with Oliver. We were nervous but somehow managed to sleep a few hours each, and Oliver did really well. Truth is, it was way less stressful than the first night with Logan (in a regular hospital room), during which we realized (well, confirmed) we had no idea what we were doing.


• The sad feeling of our rooming in across the hall from the other family room, in which we had spent our last hours in private with Avery. Did they deliberately give us a different room? I don't see how they could have remembered. And yet, as with a lot of things related to Oliver, on that last NICU night it felt to me like Avery was with us. He was definitely with us.


• Our anticlimatic, in a good way, final visit with Dr. D. He was the first neonate we met, on the night we came in with two 28-week-olds trying to kick their way out, and I was really glad he was on duty to check us out. Although Oliver was on oxygen, a huge source of anxiety, our checkout was nondramatic and really fast. He said, "He's good. Treat him like a regular newborn." I privately thought, "Oh, sure, a regular newborn with a giant tank being wheeled behind him and tubing attached to his face." But as with most things, Dr. D turned out to be right.


• Our drive home, in which the oxygen tank toppled over and hit its stand with a "clang!" and almost drove me over the edge.

And of course, this: Logan Alexander meets his baby brother.

Happy coming home day, Oliver. Couldn't love you more.

Countdown

This day a year ago, my CarePage post was titled "No Rest for the Weary." It was the day Oliver's final routine ultrasound came back flagged for a possible brain bleed, and instead of making plans to take him home, we were sweating it out as the radiologists gave it a closer look. We'd crossed that off our long list of things to worry about because brain bleeds almost always occur very early on in a preemie's life. Thus, it was on this day, a year ago, that I determined one must never, ever cross anything off one's list. Turns out, as I've suspected since I was about 10, leaving it on the list vastly reduces the chances it will actually happen.

Anyway, as most of you know, the subsequent read showed there was no issue. And thus I present the last photos of Oliver in the NICU before he came home.

Kung Fu Logan

Watch Kung Fu Panda enough times and you're bound to pick up some tidbits here and there. Just hoping Ollie's first real word isn't "Master Shifu."

On the other hand, it's much, much better than watching Yo Gabba Gabba, so absolutely no complaints here.

September: It's Time to Pay the Piper

To: Parents of September 2009
From: Amy Bills
Re: Behavioral Issues
CC: Austin, Texas

Parents of September,

Please consider this note a formal request for a meeting at your earliest convenience to discuss recent behavioral issues with September. Please contact my office this week to set up an appointment.

As you know, we've generally been pleased with September's behavior. Certainly, as with many months, September has exhibited the occasional behavioral aberration, and yes, in some cases they have been quite serious. This is to be expected, as no month is perfect.

However, September 2009 is showing significant warning signs that must be addressed promptly.

• Illness has swept the Bills household, leaving Baby Ollie on antibiotics and Mommy coughing.
• Said illness has infiltrated Mommy's workplace and taken down at least two other co-workers, who are publicly blaming Mommy.
• Our friend MH had a car accident today. That it was minor is not a valid excuse.
• Mommy's co-worker EG hurt his leg and is out for his entire indoor lacrosse season.
• Baby Ike is sick. We've made clear to all of the months that there is zero tolerance for this infraction.
• Baby Julian is also sick. Again: Not acceptable.

Early intervention is critical not only for September's well-being, but to ensure peer months such as October and November are not unduly influenced. We appreciate your prompt attention to this matter.

Throw In a Chemical Peel for Mommy and You've Got a Deal

We had a good visit this week with the cosmetic surgeon about Oliver's preauricular tags (love it! new medical terms to learn!), known more commonly as "harmless skin tags in front of his ears." There are little lumps right in front of his ears and the tragus on one ear is malformed. It's a preemie thing. Avery didn't have them, though. Will forever be mystified about how identical twins can be so unidentical.

The surgeon was very good with Ollie, who was getting fussy after a long wait. She says she can remove the tags with "hairline" scars. She is not sure about reshaping the tragus and will have to wait until she's "in there" (her words) to determine if she can reshape some cartilage or just remove the malformed part. I have spent a lot of time over the past few days staring at Ollie's ears. Ears in general are really funny looking. Go take a look!

The surgery is about 45 minutes and she can do both sides at once (I was worried we might be in for two procedures) and the recovery with stitches is only about a week. Cartilage takes longer to heal so if there is reshaping I think it's more recovery. I'm not clear how we keep him from pulling on the stitches but I'm sure specifics are forthcoming.

Now we'll try to decide when to do all of this.

What You Don't Know

This time a year ago we were a month away from bringing home Baby Ollie. But of course, we didn't know we were a month away. We didn't know if we were three weeks away or three months away. We hoped, but didn't know. We still had a meningitis scare, a brain bleed scare, some bedside tears, two bouts of mastitis and many nursing challenges ahead of us. Of course, we didn't know that, either. Which is good.

Oliver, detached for a while from the CPAP, August 29, 2008:

Peer Pressure

Big L returned from his birthday weekend (birthday morning photo at right) to start in a new preschool class this past week, moving up from "early preschool." We'll really miss his early preschool teachers, who were instrumental in keeping things "normal" for him during this past year. I'm sure they are feeling somewhat relieved at not having to repeatedly answer the question "Can we fix the light?"

He moved up to the new class with several little pals from his previous class (including his buddy J), which has been helpful. Dropoff was pretty stressful this past week, as he kept marching to his old room and swinging open the door to go inside, and we had to tell him we were "just saying hi to the old gang" and then redirect him to the new room, where he was not at all happy to be left.

We have high hopes that the peer potty pressure will take a firmer hold in this class, where the majority of the class is potty trained. He has been making good progress at home (I'll spare everyone the details) but it's not a regular thing...yet.

It's very uncharacteristic of me but I can't really work up much anxiety about this. I'm pretty sure he's not going to go to college in diapers. (Of course, now that I jinxed it by putting it in writing...)

Sa-WHAT?

A few things I found very troublesome about last night's Top Chef. And this does not include the really, really unattractive cheftestants this year. I don't think they all need to be gorgeous but they also don't need to be distractingly unappealing. Don't any of them live near salons? Just a baseline of normal-looking would be completely fine. I mean, it's Bravo! Facials should be mandatory.

On to the culinary irritations:

Watermelon "carpaccio." Creating "twists" on dishes is only clever when it's...clever. I find myself mostly just annoyed at dishes like thinly sliced fruit called "carpaccio" and random things marinated in citrus and called "ceviche." Tofu "ceviche" = culinary fail, IMHO. This has happened before on Top Chef and has been equally annoying. Carpaccio is meat. Ceviche is seafood. And on that note, stacked-up food is not always "lasagne" and food rolled in other food is not always an "enchilada" and food on bread is not always "pizza."

Weird pronunciation of "ceviche." The first time I heard the cheftestant Jen call it "Sa-VEECH" I thought I misheard. Then she did it again. Please stop it. Even if that is correct in some remote part of Spain that only she has ever visited...please just stop.

I'm not a dessert technologist. I don't like panna cotta that much. But I respect that lots of people like it. So if I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT I suppose I would NOT MAKE IT when I'd already completed my initial dish. And I would NOT STIR IN BURNED BAY LEAVES. And then I would not stand in front of the judges and say "I'm not a dessert technologist" and "mistakes were made." The entire panna cotta situation was very odd.

Reading the blogs this morning I can see I'm not the only one baffled by the show so far this year. I'm sure things will improve.

An Open Letter to Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature,

I feel like we've been here before. We've had these tough conversations. I still don't agree with the way you arranged breastfeeding. And at the risk of unearthing difficult situations, we certainly talked a few times about mastitis. Tornadoes have always perplexed me. Drought. Antibiotic-resistant bacteria: Well, I've never tried to pin that on you. That's our fault. Lima beans...I know you have your reasons.

And Mother Nature, I'm not trying to say you've never done anything right. Not at all. The sweet potato: nice work, seriously. Lobster: genius! And the snow days, I thanked you for all of those. Kittens. The New River. The Pacific. Peaches. We've had good times and I always gave you props.

But this most recent thing, I feel like I can't hide my feelings. What is the point of four minutes of rain? It hasn't rained in Austin in weeks. It's hardly rained all summer. The wind, the thunder, and then the four minutes of rain you delivered today. At the risk of sounding trite: WTF? It made a paste of the grass and dirt we call our yard. It blew a bunch of pollen around but didn't wash it out of the air. It didn't help. It was actually kind of disgusting. I'm just not getting it.

Mother Nature, I'm not so much angry as disappointed. I expected better of you, and I'm left confused. And I'm not sure I want to ask for a "sign" at this point.

Just hoping time will heal all wounds (unless they, too, are antibiotic-resistant).

Yours,

Amy

Five Things That Were Horrifying

Five things that were horrifying about our trip to Sea World.

1. 3.30 am Sunday after a fun evening of swimming and a picnic supper. Oliver wakes up squalling. We offer milk, which he takes. We put him back in the pack and play. He screams and screams and screams. Embarrassed that we are waking up the entire resort, we spend the next two hours picking him up and putting him back (which makes things worse). Logan is also up, as we are all in the same room. Poor Ollie is out of sorts, not used to the pack and play and overtired after a full day. Finally at 5.30 am, Larry takes to the streets of San Antonio, driving Ollie around the area to put him to sleep. It works and we all go back to a fitful sleep until 8 am.

2. The heat. This was no surprise. It was well over 100 degrees. All of us were drenched. However, nobody got sunburned. In our pale and freckled family this is a big deal.

3. Disinterest at the Shamu show. Logan spent the entire 25-minute show obsessing over a bottle of purple Gatorade and throwing Cheerios on the floor. The arena is shaded, so it was a good chance to get Ollie out of the heat and give him a bottle. The show is pretty corny, though, so it wasn't our favorite part of the trip. It's called "Believe," if you can imagine. I really thought Logan would like it because of all the splashing, but he couldn't have cared less about poor Shamu and his gang of killer whale friends. The jellyfish and dolphins were much bigger hits with him.

4. Alligators in hiding. I was interested in seeing Alligator Alley. The alligators were interested in being almost completely submerged in cool water with only their snouts showing. Thus, we spent 4 minutes staring at a murky lake before moving on. I realize #3 and #4 are more "annoying" than "horrifying."

5. Tummy trouble. Oliver has been home since our return with a tummy virus. I can't trace it back officially to Sea World, of course...

Five Things That Were Awesome

Five things that were awesome about our Sea World trip:

1. Hyatt Wild Oak Ranch. Three minutes from SeaWorld, adjacent to the fancy Hill Country Hyatt but totally kid friendly and beautifully landscaped. Indoor pool, outdoor pool, lazy river for tubing, little general store for when you forget your toothpaste. Fridge in the room for Ollie's milk and washer/dryers down the hall. This would be a perfect staycation for anyone in this area. I anticipate we will return for a longer stretch. It was a total find. And the service could not have been nicer. I don't think I've ever had a front desk call my room just to be sure "everything was OK."

2. Dolphins. Logan did not want to feed them but was very interested in looking at them and insisted he be allowed to go swimming with them.

3. Coral reef exhibit. While we were looking at the sharks a Sea World employee actually came over with a shark jaw to show the kids and let them touch the teeth. Our child, of course, was much too busy jumping up and down on a bench to be educated but it was nice to have a little extra tutorial. She helped us identify some of the specific sharks in the tank (we were trying to find a blacktip shark but it was hard to see).

4. Water park. I didn't realize how large the Sea World water park is. There are slides (which Logan is too small for) and a huge wave pool; complimentary life jackets (makes it a lot easier to hold the kids when the vest is doing some of the work) and a shaded shallow pool perfect for Ollie. After a brief dip in the wave pool I took Ollie back to the shady area where he had a blast splashing, swim/crawling and flirting.

5. Both kids slept almost all the way home. Logan went to sleep at 8 PM and did not awaken until 7 the next morning (other than a brief waking in which he was easily convinced to return to bed).

Later this week: Five things that were horrifying about our Sea World trip.

Water Signs

Our 30-hour trip to SeaWorld was more of an "adventure" than a "vacation." Much too tired to post fully about the whirlwind day and night. Please enjoy these photos and my assurance of a longer post later in the week. This longer post may include the following words and phrases, not necessarily in this order:

• Shuffleboard
  
• Screaming inconsolably at 3.30 a.m.
  
• Gatorade
  
• Laughing Cow cheese
  
• Inner tube
  
• Heat rash
  
• Shamu
  
• Wave pool
  
• Spotted eel
  

Daddy feeds a dolphin. Logan was afraid to touch the actual fish but he did lean over and laugh at the dolphins (in a nice way).

Logan insisted on pushing his stroller. You can image that made for a speedy trip through the park.



Guess who enjoyed the Shamu show the most of all?

The Circus

Logan and I had incredible seats this morning for the Ringling Bros. circus. I haven't been to a circus in about 30 years, so it's hard to tell whether the circus has changed, or I have. It seemed a lot smaller than I remember (that's probably about me, not the circus). It also now has video, G-rated hip-hoppish music, a lot of Cirque de Soleil-type acrobatics and protesters outside.

Logan didn't beg for a single toy (although he was looking longingly at the swirly light thingies) or gross food item. After about 15 minutes sitting on my lap he went into his own seat and had a great time. Favorite acts were the motorcycle on the tightrope and the dog catching Frisbees.


Here's the view from our seats.


We were accompanied by Logan's friend J and his mom and J's older brother, whom both Logan and J worship. He is one of the nicest early-teen I have ever met. He can actually carry on a conversation and is terrific with the little boys, who obey him without hesitation. He gives me hope for the future. We tried to get them all to pose but there was a lot going on!

Super Soakers

We put the boys in the tub together tonight without Ollie's baby tub. They loved it. Maybe the water made it easier or maybe he was just in a good mood, but Oliver pulled up to stand a few times on the side of the tub (with one of us hovering centimeters away).

Had a good visit with grandma and grandpa over the weekend, including a trip to the children's museum, where they have an awesome craft project and Logan was accidentally bopped in the head with a piece of one of the exhibits by a kid whose mom looked on placidly and didn't suggest that her child say "Excuse me" or "I'm sorry." It doesn't really matter whether you're at Wal-Mart or the children's museum...there are just all kinds of parenting "styles" out there. My rule is, I don't judge you until your kid hits mine with a piece of metal and you can't be bothered to respond.

Here, a book is read (I'm not sure who was reading).

Big Day for a Big Boy

Logan, do you know whose birthday it is on Sunday?

My birthday.

How old are you going to be?

I'm going to be three! And Ollie's one!

Three is a big deal, isn't it?

I'm a big deal. And Ollie's a little deal.

Wrapped Up

Another photo from the archives of this time last year. I actually found that little cap when I was cleaning out Oliver's drawers yesterday. I'd put it in a Ziploc and it smelled like NICU. Talk about sense memory overload. Sheesh. I almost said "Oh, no you DINT!" to the Ziploc when I got a whiff, but managed to pull myself back to reality and put it away.

By the way, not trying to make people sad or anxious by posting these photos. Look at big fat Oliver now (and these fellows and this guy) and clearly what I'm providing here is a record of good things in the world.

Web 2.0 Parenting

For those of you no longer dealing with babies, here's how we Web 2.0 parents communicate when the one-year-old wakes up at 2 AM struggling for air with a cough that sounds like a seal barking and does not respond to the nebulizer or a steamy bathroom. What did we do before text messaging? What did we do before cell phones??

3:39 AM: We're here*. Checked in and waiting. Pulse ox** 96.

3:39 AM: Oh, boy. You were right to take him please text when they see him.

4:02 AM: Lungs are clear. Seems to be from the throat up.

4:58 AM: Good.

Anyway, Oliver is fine after a day home with Grammy. I thought we would not be worrying about croup until winter but evidently it is still possible to develop a "croup like cough" in summer. Oh, Ollie!

*Dell Children's.
**Pulse oximeter, measures oxygen saturation in blood.

Things That Should Not Have to Be Said

Things that should not have to be said (but are):

• Kitty does not like strawberries.
• Baby brother does not go in the laundry basket.
• Baby brother does not go in the dryer.
• Baby brother does not go in the dishwasher.
• What do you mean, "Let's go clean the wall?"
• We do not have black ice cream.
• Cheese is not for playing.
• "Water" with olives is just for Mommy.

Interactive blogging! Add your own!

Memory Lane Is Kind of Rocky

Went to Central Market to pick up lunch today and passed by a few people in scrubs. This is normal for Central Market at midday because Seton, the Heart Hospital and many medical buildings are nearby and of course, St. David's is five minutes away. Seeing people in scrubs gave me a momentary jolt as I was transported back to the times I would stop by on my way home from my afternoon NICU shift to make sure we had. I'm amazed Central Market isn't totally ruined for me as an experience. I'm pretty sure I will never eat Rold Gold pretzels again, for example. The sense memory connection of opening the bag, which I would often eat as a snack when the nurses kicked us out for rounds, would be overwhelming.

Even more jarring is the photo folder on our home computer. Our digital photos are saved by date, so as I save new photos I'm now seeing all of the ones from exactly a year ago.

A Well Check Goes Well

Ollie's well check went very...um, well. He's in the lowest percentiles for weight and height, but at least he's on the chart! His lil' noggin is in the 50th percentile.

Dr. P said there were "no neurological red flags" and that he looked "perfect." He also said "good work to Mom and Dad!" which made me love him just a little.

We are cleared to move him to whole milk, which will be such a relief. No more smelly formula, no more mixing bottles. Although I have to say, thank you, Neosure and then regular Enfamil, for helping us make sure Ollie got what he needed. You were worth every penny.

We are also OK'd to have Ollie's skin tags checked out. We will probably start with the ENT who did Logan's tubes. I'm sure there will be many updates on that.

The Big Well Check Is Tomorrow

Baby Ollie has a big day tomorrow: his 1-year well check. For term babies this is a pretty standard appointment, of course. For Ollie, well, it's a little bit of a big deal because we'll get an official read on how much he's "caught up" and if there are any red flags we need to worry about.

I don't think there are. I think he's doing great. Even though he is not quite hitting 1-year milestones, he is making steady progress. Nonetheless, it will be a long time before I can shake the "expect anxiety" feeling of Oliver's medical monitoring and thus I am remaining cautiously optimistic.

Things I hope to discuss:

Switching to whole milk. Since I weaned Ollie in May he's been on formula for two months. It's stinky and expensive and I'd love to be done with it. But, if we need a few more months, that's OK.

The ear tags. Oliver was born with skin tags near his ears. This is not uncommon, although it was a little scary. Skin tags near the ears can be a signal of kidney problems, the NICU docs told us--with Ollie that was not the case. We had two of them removed in the doctor's office about 6 months ago. The others are more complicated and will require surgery. We agreed we didn't want to put him through anything like that until he was at least 1, so tomorrow I will probably get a referral at least to have someone take a look and tell us what's what.

Land Grab

I've been impressed with how well Logan has taken to having a baby brother. He's been eager to join Ollie in his crib and he always wants to make sure Ollie is coming with us when we get in the car. I've heard and read that toddlers are fine with baby siblings until the babies gain the ability to encroach physically on the toddlers' space.

Welcome to encroachment.

Ollie is not crawling yet, but he is a speed demon with the belly crawl and the length of his reach is astounding, as those who witnessed him snatch the burning candle from his birthday cake this weekend can attest. The more (volume, frequency) he's able to grab, the less pleased Logan is with his presence. Add to that the tsunami of new toys that arrived with Ollie's birthday and we've had quite a few ignored lectures about sharing over the past few days.

Here is a brief moment when Ollie was allowed to play with his own toy from Cousin Wills.

Logan is not in the picture because he was on the couch sulking. Prior to this, he'd instructed Ollie to "Keep your hands to yourself!" and also informed us that Ollie's new firetruck is "MINEMYFIRETRUCKMINE." This morning he generously agreed that Ollie could play with one of his new blocks.

Ollie's First Birthday Party

Some photos from Ollie's first birthday party. It was smaller than Logan's two years ago. I think that happens with all second kids. Oliver clearly did not want for attention.

Oliver has fun with balloon prep (Superman colors, of course).



Big brother Logan is a great co-host! The candle in the background was for Avery.



Ollie found the birthday cake experience unnerving. He doesn't really seem to like muffins or cake that much.

Happy Birthday

Happy first birthday, baby Ollie. I'm sorry we scared you a little when we woke you up with our off-key Happy Birthday song.

Happy birthday, baby Avery. We are thinking about you all day long.

Feels Like a Lifetime Ago

It is really possible that a year ago, I was on bed rest, terrified for Avery and wondering how long I could keep those boys growing before they would try to bust out?

July 2008

July 2009

The Tatts, with FAQs

Very soon after we lost Avery, we decided to get tattoos in his memory. Larry already has tattoos for each of the boys (a Leo for Ollie, a Virgo for Logan) and for me (a Cancer sign), so it was natural for him to plan on a tattoo for Avery. For me it's a one-time event. FAQs below.

We mulled a few ideas: an "A" or his full name; a broken heart (double meaning there: his literally broken heart, and our figuratively broken hearts); a little white rose (if a baby dies, they put a white rose on the door of the mom's hospital room to signal the situation to people who are entering). When the NICU nurse presented us with a box containing his hat and a few other mementos, our quest was over: His little hospital footprints were included in the box, a perfect size for a tattoo.

Since my birthday is exactly two weeks from the day he died, we decided it would be ideal timing, and Larry offered it as my birthday gift. So off we went to Atomic Tattoo Sunday evening to see Brandi, who has done Larry's other tattoos. We asked her to try to duplicate the look of the footprint, so not completely uniform black in a cartoon-y way, but kind of faded in parts just like a real footprint would be.

The tattoos are near our hearts, as planned. Mine is still a little swollen (I think women's skin is thinner in that area) so here is a picture of Larry's (they had to shave his chest, which was amusing). Mine is in the same place and looks exactly the same. They are actual size, around the length of the first two joints of my pinky. He was very small.

Tattoo FAQs

Did it hurt?

Yeah, for sure. The outline didn't but the filling in did. However, it only took about 20 minutes for the actual tattoo.

Did Logan notice?

Logan asked me "what happened?" and offered to wash it off. I have no way to explain it to him right now, so I said Mommy and Daddy got stickers. He understands a love of stickers and didn't question this.

Are you a tattoo addict now?

No, that was my first and last visit to Atomic.

Do you think you're cool now?

Yes, but mainly because of my fancy iPhone.

Big Day

I didn't really mind turning 30 and I don't mind turning 40. Seriously. Man, you could not pay me to be 24 again. Am I supposed to be lamenting the years slipping away when the years brought me this?

I don't think so.

My birthday was very good. We went to Bluestar Cafeteria for lunch, then the Apple store at the Domain for my brand new iPhone (special shoutout to Sam the Apple Store Guy who was nice, helpful and not condescending) then our much-discussed trip to Atomic Tattoo.

And finally, pizza and Champagne for dinner.

All is well.

Chompers #3-6

After an incredibly fussy few days, I made a spur of the moment decision this morning to bring Oliver to the Saturday clinic. With the recent bronchitis, the near miss on the ear infection, the three-a-night wakings...something didn't "feel right" to me.

Turns out something doesn't "feel right" to Ollie, either. He has four new teeth trying to break through, in adidition to the two new ones that already broke through on the bottom. After examining his ears, throat and other potential trouble spots, the doctor took a peek at his gums and said "Ah-hah!" Then she showed me the two front teeth starting to push against the gums and the ridge of white on the other sides of the top gum that signals some additional visitors. I'd been so enamored of the new bottom teeth I was not expecting the top ones so soon. This didn't happen with Logan, his teeth kind of came in steadily.

No wonder Oliver has seemed miserable. I would, too. Anyway, it's Tylenol, Orajel and frozen waffles until he gets through this and then maybe he'll have some time to enjoy them.

Lemmeeee Feed the Baby!

Logan has to be watched closely but he is pretty good at feeding Oliver. He gets as much food in Oliver's mouth as anyone else, anyway. And Ollie is so entranced by Logan he gobbles up the food just to keep getting Logan's attention.

Chomper #2

Breaking news: Oliver's second tooth has begun to poke out to keep the first one company. The first one has pushed all the way through the gum now. He's pretty drooly but generally in a good mood about it.

Daddy Rescues the Balloon

Larry rescues Logan's balloon from the ceiling fan using a toy robotic arm from Terra Toys. I feel like this might be a metaphor for our parenting, but I can't quite verbalize it.

The Toddler Mind

Logan, do you want some juice?

Yellow juice*, mommy!

OK, here is some yellow juice in your alphabet cup.

No, mommy! Want it out of my cup!

**(Inner thought: how will I give him juice out of a cup? What does that even mean?)**

Buddy, that's your juice.

No, mommy, no yellow juice!

**(Inner thought: it's that or unsweetened sun tea, my friend.)**

What kind of juice do you want?

Yellow juice!

OK, there it is.

Oooh, mommy, yellow juice!

**(Inner thought: where did I put the Xanax?)**



*Watered-down limeade.

Chomper #1

Breaking news...Oliver sprouts first tooth! We can finally see it coming in on the bottom front right, and the river of drool and fussiness confirm it.

Bulletins as events warrant.

Our Day, by the Numbers

Number of hours Logan watched Yo Gabba Gabba while sitting on the couch wrapped in his puppy blanket today: 7

Number of half-hour episodes we actually have DVR'd: 6 (yeah, do the math)

Pieces of waffle he ate before listlessly pushing away his plate: 2 (maximum: 4)

Minutes I entertained him in the doctor's office after deciding to heed my hunch that we're dealing with more than a regular cold: 45

Number of ear tubes that, sure enough, have fallen out and are no longer doing their job in Logan's ears: 2 (maximum)

Number of ear infections Logan has: 1 (a mild one, though, we caught it early)

Number of subsequent infections within a three month period we're willing to accommodate before considering a third set of tubes: 3

Time exhausted Mommy will be going to bed tonight: 9

From the "Garden"

First tomato of the season.

Class Act

Whenever I see the name of the boys' day care on my caller ID at work, my heart skips a little bit as I pick up. Generally speaking, they don't call just to say "Hi" or tell me my children are cute. At best, it's a benign request for a piece of paperwork. At worst...let's not go there.

Today Logan's teacher called at about 3 PM to tell me Logan had gotten a little wet during naptime (something about a pullup gone awry). Typically this doesn't warrant a phone call, as she would just put his shorts in a plastic bag for us and change him into fresh clothes. But today, she discovered that there were no extras in his bin. I seem to remember a month ago bringing home his extra sweats (too hot) and meaning to replace them with spare shorts for the summertime.

Logan's teacher looked around for some spare shorts or pants but she didn't have any that fit. So she wanted to let me know that Logan was spending the afternoon sans pants. She didn't want me to be appalled when I picked him up, which I appreciate. She assured me that he didn't seem traumatized (or all that interested) and that his shirt was actually covering his pullup, anyway.

I still felt a bit worried, so I e-mailed Larry, who replied "If he's like his Daddy, he'll find the lack of pants refreshing." I didn't pursue this.

Thus, for those parents at our day care wondering who the trashy mom is whose child did not even have pants today: C'est moi.

Tractor Pull

Today Fry's Farm (kind of a traveling petting zoo) came to day care. I was very excited to hear about the animals when I picked Logan up. What was the best animal? The pony? The cow? Chickens, goat, pig, bunnies?

The tractor.

I'm Just Not That Into It

Has anyone noticed that Outliers has been on our reading list (see right) while dozens of other books have come and gone? Why can't I get into this book? I loved Freakonomics (thanks, JT!) and I expected to have a similar reaction to Outliers. (No, I haven't read Blink.)

Outliers is sitting on my bedside table and, literally, gathering dust. Also, cat hair, drool and some drippings from the medicine that goes into Ollie's nebulizer. I read the first two chapters, put it down (in January) and can't seem to pick it up. Now I think I've built up some kind of psychological resistance. This also happend with The Red Tent. I wanted to like these books but I can't...seem...to like...them.

Does this happen to anyone else? Start a book, want to like it, put it down, let the spiders make a home in it? Do I force myself through it or continue to use it as a coaster?

Recipe for Evening Fun

1 emptied basket of laundry
2 sweet boys
1 silly mommy

Stir and giggle!

Daddy's Day

Logan gets ready to go swimming "in the blue water." Our Father's Day weekend also included a tip to Old Navy and an awesome cookout with the HPs. Next year, though, maybe we send Daddy to a spa as he is quite exhausted.

Happy Big 3, Willsie!

I love you my sweet neph-neph, and we all wish you a happy birthday!

And...as of today, the Aunt Kiss Tax goes up to 10!

Baby's First Swim

Ollie had his first trip to the pool today. He really liked it. He was clothed in board shorts, a swim shirt, a cap and a quart of sunscreen, poor little guy. Despite the extra weight he kicked around and giggled when we bounced him.

Hats, Paint and Popsicles

Well, it's been a fun week at day care. As in previous weeks, there are lots of activites on the calendar for the early preschool summer program.

For the other kids.

For Logan, it went like this:

Monday: "Conformity day." Wore summer program shirt like everyone else. Uneventful.

Tuesday: Crazy hat day. Although he has, in the past, insisted on wearing his sparkly blue bowler hat to school, on Tuesday he refused to accessorize in any way, insisting he "does not like hats."

Wednesday: Face painting day. Logan will not let anyone touch his face. Reports having "painted my feet."

Thursday: Kinderdance day. Logan does not admit to having participated in any kind of dance program. Talks incessantly all evening about green popsicles.

Tomorrow is Splash Day. Typically we all agree this is a fun day.

Oliver Cracks Up

There is nothing Oliver finds funnier than Logan. Logan making monkey noises. Logan pouring water over his ducky in the tub. Logan wringing out a washcloth. All hilarious.

Thanks a Lot, Buddy

We just celebrated Daddy's birthday and Cousin Wills' birthday and are looking forward to Ollie's next month, so we've been talking about birthdays around here.

Logan, how old is Ollie?

Ollie is...one!

How old are you?

I'm two...and three.

Right, two going on three. How old is Daddy?

Daddy is thirty-five!

How old is Mommy?

(Pause)

How old is Mommy?

.

.

.

No!

Playpen

I often try to capture photos of Logan and Ollie in scenarios similar to those I remember having with Aunt Emily (before she was Aunt Emily, of course). I have early memories of climbing into her crib with her. How did a two-year-old manage to unlatch a crib, crawl in and relatch it behind her? This we do not know.

Anyway, fast forward about 38 years.